You wanna know what I was doing when I was one?  Pooping my pants and eating Cheerios, because that's what one year olds do.  And I'm sure this little guy dumps out Cheerios like any other toddler, but he also plays drums.  And he's pretty damn good.

If all babies were like this, I'd be more open to having one.  But as it stands, until babies start doing more tricks, I'm pretty sure I'll be wearing a condom.