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$1000 Supply of Vibrators Stolen from Plastic-Lover Pusher

Darren McCollester, Getty Images

Someone must have been hard up for pleasure, at least one person was in Illinois. A Galesburg, Ill. woman came back to her apartment to find $1000 worth of vibrators stolen while other valuables were left untouched — later the local battery store was ‘knocked up’ for its AA batteries.

Ok, so the battery store is a lie, but the rest it true; and we know it’s ‘knocked-off’ not ‘knocked-up’!

Tiara Likes, 23, sells sex toys for a living, which explains her enormous plastic-penis collection. She also told police her apartment had been ‘ransacked.’

According to the Galesburg Register-Mail, Likes returned Monday evening and “realized a pink Adidas bag containing sex toys and antibiotics had been taken.”

The thief must have been worried about an STD and decided the antibiotics were a good decision, “If you buy my stolen vibrator, I will include these antibiotics just in case!”

The police have no suspicious leads, and no clues were given to how the compound was penetrated.

If you’re in Illinois, be on the look out for a pink vibrating bag — and inform authorities.

[Chicagoist]

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