The Five Funniest Signs In Flint
Flint is a funny place sometimes, especially when you have the mind of a 12 year old. Every town has their share of funny signs that the locals overlook because they’re so used to seeing them. The Flint area has plenty of those, some that you may not even know about. Here are the business signs that still make me laugh like I did when I found out Chemical Bank wasn’t a place where you donate sperm.
Everyone remembers when Will Ferrell and Co. filmed some of the mediocre sports comedy ‘Semi Pro’ here a few years back. It was kind of hard to forget since the marquee of the historic Capitol Theatre donned the name of the fictional basketball championship, the Flint, Michigan Mega Bowl, for years after filming wrapped. The opposite side of the sign read ‘Mother, Jugs, and Speed’ (a 1970’s ambulance comedy starring Bill Cosby) — both were featured prominently in the film. Much to my dismay — I noticed the sign had finally been removed when I went downtown this week. It may be gone but we’ll always have the memories (and a moderately entertaining movie). Let’s get tropical!
Kuntz Tool, Grand Blanc
Really? I guess that’s one way to keep females away from the tool store. Naming your establishment the most reviled word by 90% of women on the planet is a sure-fire way to ensure that the fairer sex wont stop by, hell they probably won’t even say the name. Big thanks to Maggie Meadows for bringing this one to my attention. She became aware of them when they contacted her to be their spokeswoman.
The bar lovingly known by the footnote of it’s sign, ‘Dancing Sandwiches’, by most locals achieved the impossible — making people forget the name of the bar is B.J.’s. I know the two words are supposed to imply that they have both dancing and sandwiches, but where’s the fun in that. A quick side note for the fellas — It’s always great time getting your girl into B.J.’s, but if she doesn’t get down like that there’s always H.J.’s. A bit more old-fashioned but will still get the job done.
Eastown Bowl, Flint
If you mosey on down the main drag of Dort Highway, you’ll see more than your share of burned-out/closed-down establishments. The most comical of which is located on the side of the old Eastown Bowl building. Through vandalism or some divine weather intervention, the word ‘COCKTAILS’ that once adorned the side of the building has been…um, shortened. There may not be any balls left at the closed bowling alley, but there is plenty of …you see where I’m going with this.
Loose Senior Citizen Center
This one falls a bit outside of our jurisdiction, but if you have a pre-teen’s sense of humor — it’s worth the drive. I really hope that the owner of this place is named ‘Loose’ and isn’t just housing a bunch of old whores. Residents can frequently be heard talking about how they once gave Charlie Chaplin a tugger and their STD’s from the silent film era. While that may be a joke, the name of their newsletter is not — ‘South End Loose Senior Citizen Center News’. Loose South End — come on old people, you’re not that oblivious to the comedy in this are you?