6 Things That Would’ve Made O.J. Simpson’s Ford Bronco Police Chase Exciting
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Since FX’s ‘American Crime Story: The People Vs. OJ Simpson’ is set to recreate the least exciting car chase in history tonight, we made a list of things that would’ve made watching O.J. Simpson and Al Cowlings evade police in the white Ford Bronco a hell of a lot more entertaining.
Anyone who has seen ‘Anchorman 2′ knows that Ron Burgundy discovered the appeal of televised police chases. Who better to offer commentary on an otherwise boring chase?
Say what you will about Clarence Boddicker, but homeboy knew how to make a car chase interesting.
The General Lee
It would’ve been a little awkward for O.J. to ride around in a vehicle sporting symbolism that is considered by some as racist, but imagine the excitement an upbeat banjo soundtrack and a freeze frame bridge jump where the narrator says “Looks like O.J. and A.C. done got themselves in another pickle,” would’ve added.
Toxic Waste Guy
Yup, another RoboCop clip featuring Red Foreman. If Paul Verhoeven directed the Bronco chase, it would’ve been a late 1980s hard-R display of pure awesomeness.
Samurai Swords, Agents and CGI
Okay, so that’s technically a bunch of things, but just look at how badass an expressway car chase can be when you have all those elements. O.J. channeling his inner Morpheus while battling Mark Fuhrman atop a semi-truck with a ninja sword would’ve made the 22-year old chase deserving of its infamy… although a display of blade-wielding expertise may have hurt his chances in the trial.
The Post-Chase Interview
It never really happened, but we imagine it would’ve looked something like this…