6 Successful ‘As Seen On TV’ Products We Can’t Believe Women Actually Buy
The “As Seen on TV” commercials are always a wonderful source of entertainment. Once in a rare while, the products are actually useful (my wife has used the Pasta Pro for years and OxyClean has been a miracle worker around the house–RIP Billy Mays).
More often than not, they’re bizarre creations aimed at solving problems we didn’t even know we had. And nowhere is that more evident in health and beauty products targeted at women.
Every one of these products started out as an “As Seen On TV” product and are now available for sale online, which we can only assume means that some crazy women (or the even crazier men in their lives) out there have actually bought these things.
Here, in all their WTF glory, are the most bizarre products we can’t believe some women actually bought.
The Kush Support
We get that life isn’t all smooth sailing for large-breasted women but we have to admit that we’d never thought about uncomfortable sleeping or wrinkled chests among those problems. Enter the Kush Support, a solid piece of plastic with a “slip-resistant” silicone surface that acts as a support to help keep breasts from pressing together when a woman lays on her side.
The makers of the Kush Support say their product can help undo the effects of gravity, reducing wrinkles in the chest area and alleviating pressure to help promote more comfortable sleep. The product is designed for women with C-cup or larger breasts, women with breast implants, pregnant women and nursing mothers.
While we’re all for helping women get a good night’s rest and certainly support more attractive chest areas, we’re pretty sure that we could find a plastic bottle in the kitchen, a pair of rolled-up socks or a willing male volunteer who could do just as good a job of supporting large breasts at a fraction of the cost.
Aside from having a name that resembles a very niche-porn video, this product is essentially a padded bra for women’s backsides. According to the commercial, Booty Pop panties can instantly transform those mom jeans into Kim Kardashian’s finest. Even better, they come in a variety of colors and fabrics and you get two pairs for the low, low price of just $19.95.
While a nice butt is certainly an, ahem, asset, this product just looks weird, uncomfortable and unsexy. If you absolutely must order some Booty Pops for yourself or a special woman in your life, we strongly advise you to wait until you get home. Googling bootypop.com at the office is a good way to get yourself into a nice, uncomfortable meeting with your HR manager and IT guy.
Is that a massive brain tumor on your head, or are you just happy to see me?
The Skinnies Instant Arm Lift
For those women looking to get Michelle Obama arms without all the gym work, there is now the Instant Arm Lift which is a miracle substance that . . . ah, who are we kidding? It’s a clear sticker that you use to tape up your saggy underarms and hide your arm flab.
The Instant Arm Lift must have been a huge success because, according to the company website, you can now get similar products for sagging thighs, breasts, stomachs, back fat, eyes and butts (we may need a battle royal throwdown between Instant Butt Lift and Booty Pop).
The stickers are transparent, but are designed to be hidden under clothes, which really makes us wonder why you couldn’t achieve the same results with plain old duct tape?
The Tiddy Bear
No, that’s not a typo. The Tiddy Bear has perfected the art of the motorboat to help make riding in a car more comfortable by cushioning the seatbelt as it sits across a woman’s chest. Yep, that’s pretty much it. It’s a stuffed animal that you strap onto the seatbelt to act as a cushion and keep the seatbelt from rubbing on sensitive areas.
We may have finally found a use for all those Beanie Babies our grandma still swears are going to come back in value and finance her golden years.
The Cami Secret
It’s basically a mini-apron worn under a shirt to cover up cleavage. Ridiculous, right? Right? Who the HELL would want to cover up cleavage?!?