Jeremy Taylor

Thanks to Mitt Romney and a bunch of merry meme makers, Big Bird is hot. Thanks to the novelty costume makers at Yandy.com, Big Bird is sexy. Ick.

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Siblings Robert and Amanda Larrivee entered into the women's bathroom of Samuel's Sports Bar in Springfield Massachusetts, with the intention of stealing the restroom's TVs. But the noise they made ripping the units from the walls alerted one of the bar's patrons, and then a bar employee quickly locked the duo in the bathroom and called the police.

Realizing they were trapped, the Larrivees knew they needed to think of a good reason Robert was in the women's bathroom. So when the cops arrived, the brother and sister claimed they had entered the ladies room to have sex.

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A homecoming pep rally is ostensibly about firing the student body up for the big Friday night football game. While there are varied ways to whip teenagers into a frenzy, reenacting a notorious instance of domestic violence would be universally recognized as an odd choice.

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Forgetting where you parked your car always gives you a sinking feeling. However, it may have been for the best that this German man lost track of where he'd left his vehicle in December of 2010...

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Alexi Catellier is only thirteen, but the Canadian youngster was one of the oldest kids on his school bus when it broke down during a Manitoban snowstorm. The storm had also knocked all the region's power out, making it impossible to call for help.

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It's tough to be a teenage boy—all those raging hormones and nobody to help you with that.

But a 14-year-old in Germany figured out a way to scratch that particular itch: He decided to hit the local brothel (which are legal over there). The only problem? He didn't have enough cash to get the kind of action he was looking for. So he snatched about $3,000 worth of his mother's jewelry and pawned it for $380, enough to cover two trips to the house of ill repute for him and a friend.

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While the critters of  Pokémon are animal-like, you can't actually find Pikachu and his buddies in earth's animal kingdom.

Which is why PETA's recent attack on the popular Nintendo characters has many people scratching their heads.

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When one thinks of a deer, one thinks of a gentle Bambi-like creature. However, adult male deers can be pretty rough customers. Especially during mating season, when they use their sharp horns to jostle over female deer companionship.

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Of all the places to unintentionally drop an illegal drug, inside of a courtroom right in front of a police officer has to be among the worst.

Which is exactly what happened to New Orleans assistant city attorney Jason Cantrell.

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In retrospect, Patrick Gallagher and his buddies probably should have just celebrated his impending nuptials with a quiet night of poker, maybe a cigar. But instead they took the bachelor party to the strip club, where the groom-to-be suffered an injury as embarrassing as it is painful.

Gallagher was pulled up on the stage at the Penthouse Club in Port Richmond, Pennsylvania to get the full-on bachelor treatment. Included in the festivities was a stripper pole, and when one of the girls "shimmied" down the rod and launched herself into Gallagher's lap, his bladder ruptured.

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Talk about mystery meat.

The Red Flower Chinese Restaurant in Williamsburg, Kentucky, was shut down last week after health officials found they were serving their customers roadkill. This highly questionable culinary practice was revealed when customers caught restaurant employees bringing a dead deer into the kitchen.

"There was actually a blood trail they were mopping up behind the garbage can," customer Katie Hopkins said.

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You know what's cool? One billion users.

OK, now that that's out of the way, lets discuss the big Facebook news, which is that the social network  recently topped one billion users. This amounts to about 15% of the world's population.

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