Put on a helmet, because your mind is about to be blown by this conspiracy theory that claims that the Bible predicted the Flint Water Crisis, and that President Obama, President Trump, Batman, Vampires, Zombies, Area 51, and The Illuminati are all involved.

There's a lot of BS conspiracy theories out there on the internet, some of which our current Commander-in-Chief tweets out to the masses before researching. However, most people have no use for this nonsense, and a lot of us these things become background noise... that is until one comes along that is so perfectly insane, that you can't not pay attention to it.

This is that conspiracy theory.

The amazing thing is that this guy's video, which is so nonsensical and poorly made, has more views in just 3 days than most of our videos get in their lifetime, and we actually put a good deal thought, effort, substance, and production value into those! It's hard for me to fathom that over 1,500 people have actually devoted over 14 minutes of their time to watching/commenting on this. The crazy runs deep in America, folks.

If you're one of the regular folks who don't have 14 minutes to lend to this crazy YouTuber's conspiracy theory, I'll do my best to summarize it in broad strokes for you below:

The Flint water crisis was predicted in Zechariah 5 of the Bible. When President Obama received the Nobel Peace Prize, there was a spiral in the sky, and that was "The Third Trumpet" (as mentioned in chapter 8 of the Book of Revelations). That spiral was wormwood, a great burning star that fell from the heavens and contaminated the waters with legion (a group of demons). Wormwood was the true cause of contaminated water attributed to the Flint Water Crisis, the Fukishima Nuclear Disaster, and the BP Oil Spill. This, of course, is one of the signs that the end times are upon us.

Now you might say, "Oh, that doesn't sound that crazy. He's just applying Bible verse to modern day events." That's true, but what you don't realize is how much crazy I had to filter out of this theory to get to that, extremely watered-down, and somewhat understandable version. His actual theory is filled with so many holes and 1+1=64 logic, that it's actually rather impressive.

Here is some of the crazy I skipped over:

  • The arrowhead in the Flint logo is a sign that vampires are coming (@ 4:10)
  • Flint is Batman being eaten by a dog, just like in The Matrix (@ 4:21)
  • Putin, Obama, The Pope, and Donald Trump are all involved because they were Photoshopped onto the cover of some random magazine (@ 5:23)
  • Batman has been put inside the people of Flint (@ 5:42)
  • Wormwood is basically the same as the vampire worms from 'The Strain' (@ 7:02)
  • We're finally gonna get zombies too, y'all (@ 7:20)
  • Donald Trump's wiretapping claims represent the "worms" (@ 7:57)
  • Area 51 is connected to this because he drew a triangle on a couple of Google Maps (@  8:10)
  • The map of Area 51 foretold of the fictional movie, 'The Matrix' (@ 9:00)
  • 'The Strain' isn't just a TV show, it's going to happen (@ 9:30)
  • 'Prometheus' is going to happen too (@ 10:30)
  • Obama tried to set black and white against each other (@ 13:01)
  • Literally, a preview for Season 2 of 'The Strain' (@ 13:21)

So there you have it. We're all Batman, and 'The Strain' (a dope ass show, by the way) is upon us. Thanks, Obama. #StayWoke