If you were a little stunned by the news of Adam Yauch‘s death on May 4, you weren’t alone — as Yauch’s longtime Beastie Boys bandmate Mike Diamond puts it in an interview published in Rolling Stone, “He had us fooled in the most beautiful way … I believed, up to last week, that Adam was somehow coming back.”

Which is not to say that Diamond is bitter about Yauch hiding his failing health. “I wouldn’t trade that optimism for anything,” he pointed out. “Because the other option is no fun.”

Diamond’s fellow surviving Beastie Boy, Adam Horovitz, was also open about his emotional struggles in the wake of Yauch’s death, describing himself as “numb” and admitting, “My wife is like, ‘I want to make sure you’re getting it out.’ But then I’m walking the dog and I’ll start crying on the street. It’s pretty f—ing crazy … He said, ‘I’m gonna be OK.’ He’s been right about most s— so far. So I believe him.”

Diamond and Horovitz both recalled the Beastie Boys’ final sessions, which took place last fall. “Adam instigated it. It could only come from him, in terms of where he was at with treatment. It was stuff we had written or demo-ed, and there were new ideas,” explained Diamond. “He wasn’t sure he was able to do vocals. But after a bit, we ended up doing them. And he was fine. It was a way for him to say, ‘Yeah, I’m doing it.’”

“It wasn’t any different from before,” added Horovitz. “We spent more time making fart jokes and ordering food, which was true to form. That’s why it always took so long for us to put records out.”

Asked about what the future might hold for them as musicians, Diamond responded, “I can see making music. I don’t know about a band format. But Yauch would genuinely want us to try whatever crazy thing we wanted but never got around to.”

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