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Bono: Epic Douche

Douche
LESLIE E. KOSSOFF,AFP/Getty Images

In the latest edition of Rolling Stone (The Playlist Issue), Bono reminds us all why we hate him. 

The newest issue has artists naming their personal top 10 songs for a playlist. Bono picked 15 David Bowie songs and number 2 on the list was “The Man Who Sold the World”. He had this to say about the song:

“America fell in love with that song because of Kurt Cobain- a man who wouldn’t sell the world anything”

Technically Boner he sold the world about 26 million copies of “Nevermind”, 1 million more than your best selling album “The Joshua Tree” has moved with a 4 year head start. Now I’m not sure if he meant for that to sound as pompous as I am taking it, but it sounds like a cheap shot to me. Cobain also sold the world (unintentionally or not) on a whole new genre of popular music in the early nineties. He may not have sold Bono personally on bi-sexuality or androgyny (allegedly) like the original artist of the song did, but here in the states Nirvana’s is the beloved version. Nirvana’s Unplugged was one of their most memorable (if not THE most) performances and the song is a great metaphor for the fading star Cobain. A dude who had the world in his hands and gave it away.

Now if Bono has a problem with the states he can stay out of them. Nobody here under 40 gives a shit about you anyway. No matter how much charity work you do I will still regard you as a douche until:

a) You stop wearing sunglasses all the time. I get that it’s your look or whatever but seriously…take the damn things off at night cool guy.

b) You get your guitarist to stop calling himself “The Edge”. I don’t think I need to elaborate why that is a douchey nickname. Keep in mind, this comes from a guy who goes by “Tree” in his day to day.

c) Your music doesn’t suck.

d) You learn to speak a language before using it in a song. “Uno, Dos, Tres, Catorce”? That translates to “One, Two, Three, Fourteen”, dumbass.

Next time you want to talk about why you like a song, do that. Talk about the song, don’t take cheap shots at dead American icons.

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