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Finger Biter
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Michigan Woman Sentenced to Jail for Biting a Woman’s Finger Off Over 50 Cents

We’ve heard of biting the hand that feeds you, but we’ve never heard of someone biting off another person’s finger simply because they did not feed them enough.

Earlier this week, a Michigan woman was sentenced to six months in jail for biting off another woman’s finger over a measly 50 cents and a couple of cigarettes. On Monday, in addition to jail time, the judge ordered 47-year-old Senta Staffney to take part in community service work as well as personal counseling in hopes of reforming this razor lip lady back into a productive, and less Hannibal Lector-style, member of society.

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Forest Hills Club
foresthillsclub.com
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Fire Rages Out of Control at Michigan Nudist Colony

Some wieners were nearly roasted earlier this week when a fire raged out of control at a Michigan nudist camp.

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MintyPics.com
MintyPics.com
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Kid Rock Offers Reward, Catches Man Who Attempted Break-In at His Clarkston Home

Kid Rock posted security images of a man who attempted to break-in to his Clarkston home on Wednesday (7/31), offering a reward for information on the attempted B&E and some words of warning to other would-be burglars. Apparently, his reward worked -- get the unusual story here.

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Bills
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Michigan Energy Bill Surcharge to Help Less Fortunate Goes Into Effect

Last month, Michigan lawmakers approved a measure that will add a surcharge to residents' energy bills, from which the funds will go to assist the poor. Find out when it will show up on your energy bill here.

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Sausage Festival Ft.
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Sausage Festival Headline Paired With Unfortunate Photo in Lansing Newspaper

Our favorite part real newspeople is how often they unknowingly use suggestive headlines. The latest of those comes from Lansing's The State News, where a headline about a "Sausage Festival" was above a picture of a guy chowing down on a gigantic... well, just click through and see.

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James "Eat 'em Up Tigers" Van Horn and Dreadlock Mike
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‘Eat ‘Em Up Tigers’ Guy and ‘Dreadlock Mike’ Killed in Hit and Run in Detroit

If you've ever been to a Tigers game at Comerica Park, then you're no doubt familiar with James Van Horn, who is more affectionately known as the "Eat 'em Up Tigers Guy." Unfortunately, James and another man known as "Dreadlock Mike" were killed in a hit and run early Saturday (7/28) in Detroit.

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Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer (MGM)
Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer (MGM)
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Drunk Canadian Swims Across Detroit River, After Only 8 Beers? [VIDEO]

Seems like a rather small quantity for a Canadian to do something as outlandish as that. Even with the U.S./Canadian beer conversion rate added in that's still only like a 12 pack. Guess they don't make 'em like they use to anymore up there in the great white north.

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ABC12 Reporter Draws Wiener
YouTube
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ABC-12′s Siobhan Riley Draws Penis While Giving Traffic Update [VIDEO]

It seems like -- and excuse the pun --  there are wieners popping up all over local news lately. Flint's own Siobhan Riley became the latest "victim" when she accidentally drew a giant schlonger while describing the traffic situation live on WJRT - ABC-12.

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Spencer Platt, Getty Images
Spencer Platt, Getty Images
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Best Tweets About Detroit Filing for Bankruptcy

After years of financial struggles, the City of Detroit's Emergency Financial Manager has filed for Chapter 9 bankruptcy protection. We won't bore you with all the logistical details, but we will highlight the best tweets on the subject - check them out here.

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Eminem
Bill Pugliano, Getty Images
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7 Useless Facts About Michigan to Annoy Your Friends and Coworkers With

Just in case you were one of those that slept through history class - the state of Michigan possess a cornucopia of unique culture blended with a substantial contribution to American history, making it one of the most beautiful and influential states in the nation – regardless of the brutal crime rate!

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Drunkard
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Michigan Is Bizarro — Strange Laws From Across the Land

The majority of Michigan's laws have been put in place to help protect the public against a lunatic society; however, we recently uncovered a number of laws across the state that make us question who the lunatics really are. Seriously, you might be surprised to find that it is against the law to do the following:

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Chesaning Showboat Music Festival
Chesaning Showboat Music Festival, Facebook
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Chesaning Showboat Music Festival Cancels All 2013 Concerts

Right as the concert season was about to get in full swing at the Chesaning Showboat Music Festival has officially pulled the plug on their entire 2013 schedule.

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