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Fantone’s Friday Top 5: Birth Control Options In Order Of Effectiveness

I don’t know how birth control got to be such a hot topic recently, but one way or the other, people seem obsessed with child-free sex. With all this baby free banging going on, it’s time to face the facts and take a look at what works and what doesn’t. Check out my list of the top 5 ways to not get pregnant, and how likely they are to work.


Number 1: Abstinence (100% effective)

Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images for Relativity Media

 

Well it’s probably the least popular method, but you certainly can’t aruge with it’s effectiveness.  Along with it’s perfect success rate in avoiding babies, it also guarantees you an AIDS free life .  Unless of course you’re a virgin who shoots up dope, which seems kind of unlikely.  Both of those things seem great, until you factor in that you can never  have sex, which is a pretty big factor.


Number 2: The Pill (99.9% effective)

Photo by Tim Matsui/Getty Images

 

The Pill is awesome because it’s almost perfect, but my biggest problem with it is that it’s so dependent on the woman.  I mean it’s one pill, everyday, at the same time, which doesn’t seem like that much responsibility, but women are constantly forgetting.  The Pill is effective, but I wish they made a male version, because I don’t have much faith in women being able to remember a basic task.

 


Number 3:  Condoms (97% effective)

Photo by William B. Plowman/Getty Images

 

I’m kinda disturbed that condoms are only 97% effective.  I guess I was just always under the impression that if you put on a condom, you were pretty much bulletproof.  When it comes to the feeling, let’s all just admit it’s not nearly as good with a rubber, but it feels a whole hell of a lot better than changing diapers and paying for college.

 


Number 4: Pull Out Method (96% effective)

Photo: flickr.com/photos/petebackwards/

 

Wait, what?  The pull-out method is 96% effective?  That’s only 1% less than condoms, but with none of the STD protection.  Apparently, if you can figure out the second to last pump and get out in time, the odds are in your favor to saying kid free.  The problem, is being disciplined enough to pull out on that second to last pump, because one false move and you’re looking at no birth control at all.

 


Number 5: No Birth Control At All (15% effective)

 

Photo: flickr.com/photos/aprilandrandy/

 

So just going off and blasting away, you’re going to avoid a pregnancy 1 out of 7 times.  Which are pretty terrible odds, but hey, you just got laid, you’re not worried about math.

 

 

Source: FDA Birth Control Guide

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