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Fantone’s Friday Top 5: Tips for Surviving A Zombie Apocalypse

Let’s just be adults for a minute people, and accept the fact that sooner or later, the zombie apocalypse is coming.  There have been numerous reports in the news about zombie like behavior and there is a zombie gathering in Flint this summer, so if you want to keep your brain, you better read this list.


Number Five: Training

Photo: Facebook.com/Zombieland

The movie Zombieland had it right, physical fitness is essential for surviving.  It goes with out saying that if you want to survive, you’re going to be running a lot.  Distance running is important, but sprinting will save your life.  Will Smith had a treadmill in I Am Legend for a reason.  You’re also going to want to be practiced in jumping for height and distance, swimming, and climbing.  Don’t spend too much time strength training, just make sure you’re strong enough to crack skulls with your blunt weapon.  Pumping out bicep curls in front of a mirror can pretty much be skipped.


Number Four: Location, Location, Location!

Photo by Natalie Behring/Getty Images

If you want to stay alive for an extended period, you need to start thinking about your place on the map.  Yes, I said map, not GPS.  If your GPS still works, great, but I wouldn’t count on it.  Along with knowing where you are, you need to be thinking about where you’re going and where others might be coming from.  The first thing you need to do is get out of highly populated areas.  You don’t want to wind up facing 10,000 zombies so for the most part, the more remote the location, the better.  You’ll want to be able to see what’s coming, so look for higher ground, and look for resources.   A water source (so long as it isn’t contaminated) has to be one of your priorities.


Number Three: Find Allies, But Do It With Caution

Photo By: Natalie Behring/Getty Images News

Make no mistake about it, there is strength in numbers.  Other people can help keep you alive, but they could just as easily kill your ass.  I mean, I don’t trust people in today’s zombie-free world, why would I trust them when the world goes to hell?  If you have a chance to buddy up with other survivors, do it, but keep your inner circle small.  Others can help with resources, protection, and companionship, but if it comes down to saving their own life, most people will sacrifice yours with out thinking twice.


Number Two: Supplies

Photo by John Titchen/Three Lions/Getty Images

You constantly have to be looking for supplies.  The use of tools is one of the reasons why humans have climbed to the top of the food chain, and unless you’re dealing with some sort of super intelligent zombies, you’ll have to use resources to your advantage.  It’s kind of like packing to go camping, if you were going camping for the rest of your life, while being chased by zombies.  Any medical supplies will come in handy, along with rope, maps and a compass, something to start a fire with plus something that you can boil water in.  You’re also going to need things like knives, scissors, and saws, not necessarily as weapons but more so as tools.  Blade tools can be used as weapons, but they can get sloppy and you don’t want to get zombie juice on you.  When it does come to weapons, of course you’ve gotta think guns.  Archery is another option, but both guns and bows are limited by how much ammo you have.  Blunt weapons are great for bludgeoning, but they require you to get within close range of the undead.  I think one of the more underrated weapons would have to be a sling shot.  You’d have to be accurate with the shots, but with just a few shots, you should be able to take down a walker from a safe distance.  Sling shots are silent and no matter where you are, you should be able to find some sort of ammo for them.


Number One: THINK!

Photo by Michael Loccisano/Getty Images for Zynga

The most important thing you can be in a zombie apocalypse is smart.  Well lucky is good too, but you can’t really control that.  You’ve gotta be smart if you’re going to survive.  First things first, you have to figure out how the zombies become infected.  Whether it’s via bite, or water or air, or whatever, you need to figure out how to avoid becoming infected.  You also need to figure out how to kill the undead.  It’s a pretty safe assumption that destroying the brain will work, but you better make sure.  Does fire kill them?  Can they swim? Is there any chance of a cure or vaccine?  You’ll need to figure this stuff out, ASAP.  You also want to make sure that you’re smart enough not to waste opportunities, energy, or supplies. And if you lose a loved one, I’m sorry and that sucks, but you’ve gotta pull yourself together and keep surviving. If you keep your head on a swivel, be ready for anything at any time, and both take advantage of and make the best of your situation, you just might survive the impending zombie apocalypse.

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