Here's one for the 'dumb criminal' file; an Indiana man -- Jared Johnson, 25-years-old from Center Township Ind. -- saw opportunity knocking and answered the door; it was the cops ready for a chase.

According to the Chicagoist; Jared Johnson was riding his bicycle through Rogers Lakewood Park after the park closed Monday when police tried to stop him. When the officers tried to stop Johnson, he decide to get off his bicycle and run into the woods.

After a wheeling 3-minute chase, Johnson was caught and handcuffed.

When the po po questioned the 'biathlon athlete' on why he ran, he shrugged it off and said, 'you only live once.,' and 'that he always wanted to run from the cops.' The 5-0 stated that Johnson said he had a pretty good lead and thought he could get away.

Johnson was a bit under-the-influence of alcohol -- really?! -- blowing a .10 BAC and was ticketed for trespassing and is banned from the park.

Don't forget that killer porn-stache he has going on -- it's fitting, a handlebar mustache from an eluding bicycle rider.

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[Chicagoist]