It’s a Sad Day as Andrea Love Retires Her Favorite Sneakers of Five Years [PHOTOS]

I've never been the type of girl who loves shoes. I hate heels, and I'm perfectly content in my dusty, old, liquor covered sneakers. This particular pair has been with me through the craziest times of my life, and it is with a sad heart that I must retire and replace them.

I mean, look at these babies! You can tell these shoes have stories galore to tell. They probably have a blood alcohol content of point nine million. The sweat of an unimaginable number of moshers and front row concert goers has fallen upon the canvas of my dear friends. These Chucks have soul.

However, they have almost no soles! The bottoms of these puppies are so 'seasoned' that they no longer keep the water out. If it rains, I am screwed. I'm sometimes unable to tell if it's water or spilled Jager seeping through. Note - their cousin in the background feeling sorry for them.

These marvelous sneakers have been so supportive over the years that they not only make room for my toes, but my fingers as well! I think I'm gonna need a drink - this is harder than I thought it would be. I hear funeral music and clowns crying in my head.

I can't. I just can't. This is no way to lay a good friend to rest. I must find a better way. I must also find replacements. This crisis, to me, is along the lines of losing a pet.

I present to you, the replacements. While nothing could ever take the place of my favorites, these just might do the trick.

They have their similarities, and I'm sure the new pair should be just fine. It may take them a little while to develop their personality and to get used to the 'sweaties' and spilled drinks at the concerts. I think with a little training I can learn to love them as much as my old friends.

The good news, is with the new pair came a box to properly lay my old faithful pals to rest.

Dear Busted Ass Sneakers,

I will never forget all the great (and not so great) times we shared together. May you rest in peace.

Love,

Andrea Love