Tide pods, condom snorting, whatever Tekashi 6ix9ine and XXXTentacion are, butt-chugging, and smoking bug spray are just a few of the recent trends that have me concerned about the next generation. Those ignorant viral trends happening now might have you dumbfoundedly asking what could possibly be next? Obviously, that's a rhetorical question, but we're going to try our best to answer it anyway.

Just when I think our YouTube-obsessed youth can't outdo their stupidity, they start eating laundry detergent or something and I'm back to questioning how much longer we will be allowed to inhabit this planet. Seriously, if there is a creator, he (or she) has got to be watching this nonsense with "all of existence" highlighted and one finger hovering over the delete key.

So I decided to list the stupidest, most ill-advised challenges I could come up with, and I really hope you guys don't make me regret writing this.

SERIOUSLY, DON'T DO ANY OF THESE. THEY ARE ALL DANGEROUS AND WILL LIKELY RESULT IN SERIOUS INJURY OR DEATH. THE WHOLE POINT OF THIS ARTICLE IS HOW STUPID AND DEADLY THESE CHALLENGES ARE. DON'T BE STUPID AND DON'T GET DEAD OVER DUMBASS JOKES I WROTE.

 

#7. The "Take a Year Off Before College and Accidentally End Up Working a Low Wage Job for 15 Years" Challenge

There's only one thing you need to know about taking a year off...

#6. Drop the Soap Challenge

This one requires a bit of prep work, as you'll have to be naked and in the community shower at a prison. Then all you have to do is drop the soap and bend over to pick it up. Sure it doesn't sound hard, but there's a surprise ending. Also, I don't know how you're going to record it or post it to YouTube, but imagine how many likes and subscribes you'll have waiting for you when you get out.

#5. Make Toast in the Bathtub Challenge

This will straight up kill you and I'm not even kidding. You will be electrocuted. Don't do it.

#4. Jumping Off a Bridge Challenge

This was all the rage with Baby Boomers. Seriously, all they used to talk about was "friends jumping off of bridges." Maybe because all their friends that did this one died. It's deadly af. DON'T.

#3. The Oregon Trail Challenge (aka the Raw Water Challenge)

This is where you intentionally contract dysentery and then try to haul 1100 pounds of buffalo meat across a river.

#2. The All of Garden Challenge

This challenge is only possible during Olive Garden's Neverending Pasta Bowl promotion. To be successful, one person must eat one bowl of each kind of pasta, one basket of breadsticks, and the entire bowl of salad they bring for the table with 45 seconds worth of fresh shredded parm. Bonus points if you uncork and drink the entire bottle of wine that's on the table. Seriously, has anyone in history ever drank their table wine? I'm willing to bet it's actually good wine now because it has sat untouched at that table since whenever your OG opened, which in Flint was back in the early 90s.

#1. Butt-Vaping

The first time I heard of butt-chugging was in the 2004 NOFX classic 'Party Enema.' For around a decade, I thought it was just a funny song... then I found out butt-chugging was a real thing kids were doing. If they're willing to go that far, it's only a matter of time before somebody figures out how to vape with their south mouth. Vape Naysh, y'all.

Seriously though, this "challenge" business is getting out of hand. No one needs likes and subscribers that bad. Sure, they're cool, but they don't count for anything in the real world and definitely aren't worth risking your life over. And, again, I can't stress this enough -- DO NOT ATTEMPT ANYTHING I MENTIONED IN THIS POST! Parents: please monitor your child's online viewing. Kids (I really hope no kids are reading this): make sure to talk to a responsible adult before even thinking about trying an internet challenge. A lot of them are designed to hurt gullible people. Don't be one of them.