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Madonna’s Daughter to Attend U of M, All Bros Expected to Try to Bang Her

Craig Barritt, Getty Images

Well boys, the barely legal daughter of pop icon, Madonna is expected to attend the University of Michigan when classes reconvene this fall — so, you had better sharpen up those “macking” skills or whatever it is you kids call “trying to bang some chick” these days.

Reports indicate that the U of M student directory has Lourdes Ciccone Leon enrolled in the U of M School of Music, Theatre & Dance, which means she will likely only be interested in artsy hipsters, musicians and the majority of her friends will probably be gay. Not that there is anything wrong with that… we are just trying to help you get a feel for what you might be up against.

Now, there is speculation that Madonna’s mini-me is already settling in for special classes that begin later this summer just before the fall term. And while we all know that education is first and foremost (writer clears throat), there is no escaping the fact that little miss Lourdes Leon is gearing up for what all college freshmen dream about their senior year of high school — hardcore partying and meaningless sex.

However, unlike most college freshmen, we would be willing to bet that Madonna has arranged some level of security for he daughter to protect her from perverts just like you… ok, us. So, it would be to your benefit to act gentlemanly if you happen to bump into Lourdes on campus.

And if you just so happen to be the lucky bastard who hooks up with beauty at some point during the school year, might we advise saving the “can we have a three-way with your mom” question for at least the third date.

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