Michigan Lawmakers Trying to Ban Booze at Fully-Nude Strip Clubs

Prudish Michigan lawmakers are attempting to take all the fun out of watching fully nude entertainment by banning alcohol sales in clubs that host such debauchery.

According to the Detroit Free Press, State Senator Rick Jones claims there is nothing in the constitution that protects a person’s right to get drunk in fully nude strip clubs. This statement was released immediately after the Senate Judiciary Committee approved legislation that would put the kibosh on alcoholic beverage sales in establishments where vaginas roam freely.

Interestingly, while Senate Bill 302 would ban booze from being sold in cooter clubs, it would not ban alcohol in places where nudity is considered art – concert halls, museums, etc.

This ridiculous law was deemed unconstitutional back in 2007, but lawmakers now claim there is no basis for this argument.

"This bill will keep the status quo in Michigan and stop the expansion of fully nude entertainment into bars that serve alcohol," said Jones. "Without this alcohol restriction, we will have fewer protections for both tourists and dancers than Las Vegas, which has a similar ban for adult nightclubs."

As far as we are concerned, we must do everything in our power to stop this lunacy from happening. Isn't there a Freedom of Erection Act or something we can apply to keep these bastards from ruining a good thing? Perhaps a case could be made that having alcohol in the vicinity of buck-naked strippers decreases the spread of crabs and other crotch critters. Hey, it’s worth looking into!