Michigan Man Arrested After Stealing $120 Worth of Meat By Stuffing It Down His Pants

A Michigan man was arrested yesterday after police say he allegedly stole over a hundred dollars worth of meat from a local supermarket by stuffing it down his pants.

According to the Jackson County Sheriff’s Office, deputies were dispatched to the market on Monday evening after employees spotted a man putting items from the meat department into his pants and walking out of the store. Deputies say they spotted the amateur meat packer not far from where the alleged crime was committed, and upon patting him down, they discovered a variety of meats totaling $117.54.

“This is not a sophisticated act,” said Sheriff Steven Rand, adding that this is not the first time this sort of meat heist has happened at Polly’s Country Market.

Police say that while they are not entirely sure why the man stole the meat, there is some speculation that it was intended to be traded for drugs. Incidentally, the meat was returned to the store where we hope like hell it was thrown in the trash. Perhaps, just in case, it might be a good idea to keep an eye out for the next couple of days for any seriously discounted meat with skid marks on the package.