Michigan Police Provide Tips on How Not to Make a Getaway After a Bank Robbery [VIDEO]

Michigan police found themselves in a high-speed pursuit earlier this week following a bank robbery conducted by a couple of imbeciles who obviously did not devise a comprehensive plan for making a getaway. Video footage obtained from one of the squad cars shows officers attempting to stop two suspects wanted for holding up as many as three banks.

Although the video does not provide the most exciting raw footage we have ever seen, it does reveal a few interesting qualities that could be beneficial to those of you considering a career in criminal activity.

First, it is apparent that using a van to make a getaway is probably not the best idea... vans are slow in comparison to the average patrol car and they seem to handle poorly when attempting to avoid being taken down by the dreaded PIT maneuver.

The second thing, while it should be a no-brainer, it seems best to avoid using highways and interstates to make your escape. This is because it is easy for authorities to shut down the lanes to avoid interference from traffic, while also providing cops with enough space for nearly every cop in the state to get in on the action. Furthermore, once you are spotted…there is nowhere to go.

While we certainly do not condone robbing banks, it is common knowledge that it is best to make a getaway on foot, perhaps with a vehicle stashed in a nearby parking lot and another parked miles down the road just in case the footage from a nearby security camera happens to make the news. Of course, both of these vehicles should be stolen. In fact, it should not be until you’ve laid low for a few days (checking the news regularly to see what the cops know about you) that you can feel relatively safe driving your own licensed and insured vehicle to your desired destination.

Note: For anyone who cannot clearly see that this post is supposed to be humorous and fun, let us reiterate: Please, do not go out and rob a bank. You will go to prison, where large men or women will likely do savage and unspeakable things to you on a daily basis.