Michigan Students at Risk for Getting Snuffed Out By Natural Disasters

For all of those Michigan parents who, by some twisted logic, have bought in to the illusion that your kids are safe at school, we’ve got some news for you: they’re not. At least this appears to be the consensus of the kiddie watchdog Save the Children, who recently discovered that schools across the state of Michigan have no freaking idea what to do in the event of a disaster.

"Michigan unfortunately falls in the worst category," Richard Bland with Save the Children told WILX. "There are only two states that don't meet any of our standards and Michigan is one of those states."

Save the Children found that Michigan schools have absolutely no evacuation plan in place, no plan for getting little Johnny or Sally back to their parents after the sh*t hits the fan, no idea how to handle scared special needs children, and last but not least…absolutely no multi-hazard plan. In short, if a natural disaster of any kind happens to shake the immediate foundation of your child’s school, there is a distinct possibility the little punk’s not going to make it out alive.

If this makes you nervous… well, it should. After all, you haven’t spent 90 percent of your paycheck every week trying to make your little hellion happy just to have him snuffed out by tornado because the school doesn’t have the common sense to get kids away from windows, doors, and any area where flying debris is likely to decapitate or impale them.

So, you might want to check with your kid’s school this week to make sure the faculty has their head out of sand, and has the mental capacity to keep your child, your investment, alive for another year.