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Michigan’s Most Popular Google Searches Kind of Make Us Look Like D-Bags

Facepalm Computer Guy
Michele Piacquadio, Thinkstock

A recent study of Google search trends revealed the questions us Michiganders ask our internet machines the most and the results kind of make me embarrassed to tell people I’m from the Mitten… especially #1 on the list!

So according to, these are the most Googled items by Michigan residents:

  • Knock Knock Jokes — Seriously? F—ing knock knock jokes? When was the last time you laughed at one of these? These are the calling card of terrible comedy, right up there with “not!” jokes. You’re all grounded from the internet until further notice!
  • Little Caesars — This actually makes sense. It’s a Michigan-based company… so you get a pass on that one.
  • Omelette — Are they really that hard to make? The answer is “no.”
  • Taco Bell — With Little Caesars you can order online, what could your endgame possibly be with Googling Taco Bell? Are you looking for the nearest one? Just drive until you see one. Now if it were “Taco Bell Breakfast,” I’d understand.
  • Topless Bar — Acceptable.
  • Where Do Babies Come From?— I’m guessing this is the same crowd Googling “knock knock jokes.”

So our results weren’t the sexiest on the list, but they also were not the worst. South Dakota had only one result listed — “Nickelback.” Texas, however, took the proverbial cake with a number of embarrassing list-toppers including “are dinosaurs real,” “boogers,” “do I have herpes,” “how to cook meth” and “purple drank.” Don’t mess with Texas… seriously.

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