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Ninja Turtles To Be Aliens Instead Of Mutants In New Movie

If you know anything about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, it’s that they are teenagers, mutants, ninjas, and turtles.  At least they were until Micheal Bay got his stupid hands all over them.  Check out history, being rewritten.


So the new Ninja Turtles movie is a complete reboot.  And I’m cool with that.  New generations of kids need new adventures for Leo, Donny, Raph, and Mikey, but I’m not cool with the new movies messing with TMNT history.


The evil plan was unveiled this past week as head honcho of the new Turtles film, Micheal Bay, announced his plans for the Turtles.  Instead of the traditional story of a secret ooze leaking into the sewer, morphing the turtles and their rat teacher, into the world’s most fearsome fighting team, Bay plans on having the turtles just be aliens.


When you see this movie, kids are going to believe one day that these turtles do exist, when we are done with this movie,” he said. These turtles are from an alien race, and they’re going to be tough, edgy, funny and completely lovable.


It’s a stupid idea.  Stupider than a 28 year old man being upset about a cartoon from his childhood.  What purpose does it serve to have them be aliens?  If you want to involve some space themes, then send their mutant asses into space.  Are they still going to be called Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or should we just change it to Teenage Alien Ninja Turtles?  Hell why not make it Geriatric Alien Samurai Kittens? Why?  Because, you don’t mess with a good thing, that’s why.


It’s not like I was going to go see the movie, even if it was historically acurate, but it’s still irritating that Micheal Bay is such a douche that he insists on making all of his movies about aliens.  You already ruined Indiana Jones and bastardized Transformers.  Leave the Turtles alone.


And just because you’ve been singing it in your head the whole time…


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