Nirvana Fans Put Out On The First Date
A recent survey done by dating site Tastebuds.fm has broken down your level of sluttiness in connection with what band you like. This will definitely improve your odds of finding an easy lay at the Machine Shop, just approach the girls wearing Nirvana shirts. Continue reading to see how fans of Metallica and Kings of Leon stack up.
The study basically says this: fans of (band name) are (this %) likely to have intercourse on a first date. So the percentage next to the band name is the likelihood you can bang a fan of that band on a first date. Here are the results and my take on why. I will only be analyzing the female fans because when I was single, I was always up for sex on the first date and I’m sure most other guys are the same way.
Nirvana: 82%– I have this theory on women and music, about half of the chicks who really like a band are fans mainly because they think someone in the band is hot. In the case of Nirvana, I would actually guess well over half of Nirvana’s female fan base are Cobain lovers (in a non-necrophiliac way). Musical skills aside, Cobain just looked like a regular scruffy dude thus improving any guy’s chances greatly with females who idolize him. Just act kind of depressed and you’ll be in her “Heart-Shaped Box” in no time.
Metallica: 81%– Chick Metallica fans are ALWAYS down to “Ride the Lightning”. I’m assuming they also prefer it to be heavy, fast, and last about 5 mins (7-8 mins for fans of the pre-Black album Metallica).
Linkin Park: 80%– I think everyone knows that Linkin Park fans aren’t the most critical when it comes what they put into their systems, whether it be through their ears or other orifices.
Pink Floyd: 79%– Anyone who has been a big fan of Pink Floyd (at some point after the early 90’s) will also notice that they started getting into the band around the time they started experimenting with hallucinogenics. There aren’t too many straight edge fans of Floyd is all I’m saying. You might get lucky with just over 3/4 of Floyd chicks, but sex with Dark Side playing in the background is just as weird as sex on acid.
Red Hot Chili Peppers: 77%– Surprised this one isn’t higher on the list because this is the first band mentioned that makes plenty of sexual references in their music. It should also be noted that RHCP chicks are twice as likely to “take it on the otherside”.
Beatles: 76% – You know I’ve heard that women are much hornier once they get older. (Beatles fans are old joke)
Muse: 74%– Really? Weird list for these art-house rockers to end up on. Probably tough not to have sex on the first date when you have a “Supermassive Black Hole”.
Radiohead:74% – This is where the scale starts to tip from slutty fans to intelligent hipster fans. They know better than to give it up quickly, they also like overrated bands and smell of patchouli.
Kings of Leon: 73% – Great band, unfortunately after “Use Somebody” got so much airplay I think they have more 12 year old “fans” than adult ones. I think “Sex on Fire” reminds people too much of VD to put them in the mood anyway.
Coldplay: 68%– Another band that I always file in the overrated group with Radiohead and U2, I wouldn’t pursue a girl who was a fan of these bands anyway. Sex with a Coldplay fan is a lot like listening to one of their songs;You’re not quite sure if you’re at the beginning, middle, or end, you’re bored, and you just wish it was over already.