Sex Positive: A Healthy Sexual Appetite Doesn’t Make You a Slut

For some, the thought of being “sex positive” may sound more like a counter culture of promiscuous flesh fiends infecting every willing partner with a vicious strain of Siamese jungle clap rather than what it actually is – just having a strong and positive outlook towards bumping uglies, knocking boots, beatin’ cheeks, doing the no-pants-dance, muff-humping, or just simply having sex.

Regardless of the terminology you use to describe your baby making practices, experts say that what’s important is that you understand being “sex positive” as a good thing – a really good thing.

“Being sex positive is all about embracing that sexuality is a very important part of who you are, irrespective of your age and irrespective of the social construct,” says Dr. Michael Krychman, certified sexual counselor and sexual-medicine gynecologist. “It means maintaining a healthy attitude towards sex — or lack thereof — and valuing it given your individual needs.”

Therefore, while some people have been raised to believe that engaging in frivolous sex with the company of strangers is bad and dirty, experts say that as long as the experience is safe and protected you should have no qualms about getting some when you feel you need it.

In fact, this concept of the sexual free bird first originated back in the 1920s, when Wilhelm Reich, a psychoanalyst and student of Sigmund Freud, began spreading the message that the idea of sex being detrimental to a healthy lifestyle was false and that by giving into sexual desires could actually cure a variety of sicknesses.

That’s because, according to Dr. Krychman, sexual health and general health are absolutely connected. “Sexuality is not only this esoteric concept of feeling good, but there are also physical health benefits—lowered stress and anxiety, improved compliance with medication, etc.,” he said. Unfortunately, it took until the sexual revolution of the 1960s for people to begin to open their eyes and, well, their legs, to this concept.

Dr. Krychman says that sex positive thinking, today, consists of not having to worry about fitting into the homosexual or heterosexual mold, or the number of sexual partners you’ve rubbed bellies with throughout the years. More importantly, it’s not about waiting until you get married or making the mistake of sleeping with someone you shouldn’t have – not of that matters.

The sex positive philosophy is not meant to be a clever term to mask unhealthily promiscuity, but rather, a title of ownership in regards to our decisions and the freedom to have sex with anyone we want – or don't want.

Unfortunately, many women still feel like the downtrodden of sexual society, but it is important for them to know that not everyone believes that a healthy sexual appetite makes them a slut.

“Women, especially, are still under the watchful eyes of those with puritanical attitudes,” says Dr. Krychman. “There are still a lot of preconceived ideas—political, cultural, religious, geographical—that affect how a woman views herself, and the reaction she's going to get from society.”

It is also important for men to remember to have a positive attitude towards women and their sexual prowess, regardless if they are one-night-stands or long-term relationships. After all, without them, we may never have to worry about getting the clap, but we always end up using the hand.

Mike Adams also writes for Playboy's The Smoking Jacket, High Times and Hustler magazine. Follow him on Twitter.