As a social smoker, the latest report from comedy news outlet The Onion struck a chord with me when it announced that smoking cigarettes is okay, as long as you only do it while drinking.

There are few categories when it comes to cigarette users -- smokers, non-smokers, and the category I fall into, the "I only smoke when I drink" smoker. In this video the "U.S. Deputy Surgeon General" implies that if you're not buying the cigarettes and only smoke them when drinking the effects are "negligible." I've been saying that for years and now I finally have the proof to back it -- wait, what? This isn't a real video? Damn it! I knew this was too good to be true.

Surgeon General: Smoking Fine As Long As You Only Do It When You Drink