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Sweden Trying To Outlaw Peeing While Standing

peragro, Flickr

When a man has to pee, a man has to pee. We were designed with the right equipment for the job, which has allowed us, over eons, to let a stream loose just about anywhere we see fit. Well now, apparently, a political party in Sweden, famed for its feminist leanings, wants to make it illegal for men to pee while standing up in public restrooms.

The good news is that an all-out standing up pee ban isn’t being discussed. But this does raise a few very troubling questions. How exactly will this law be enforced, if enacted? Will toilets be redesigned, so there isn’t even a lid to lift anymore? Will there be a fine for ‘standing’ offenders? These urinary-related matters really need to be discussed further.

Proponents of the new law say it will lead to fewer puddles around the toilet, and smatterings of urine on the seat. It will also allow men to drain their bladders more efficiently. Naysayers believe that men, who have to shake the ‘dew’ of their lilies, prefer to do so standing up. So in essence, urine droplets will still get scattered across Scandinavian toilets, regardless of the law, making this new rule rather silly.

And then of course there is simply the fact that most men want to be men, and enjoy all of the advantages that entails. If we have to sit down to pee, what’s next? Will we have to pretend we like sparkly ‘Twilight’ vampires, and long talks about our emotions? We have to drawn a line in the sand somewhere, and we know exactly what part of our body we can use to draw that golden line with, provided we’re allowed to stand up when doing so.

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