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Brendan Thorne, Getty Images
Brendan Thorne, Getty Images
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Michigan Man Found Dead Surrounded in Beer Cans

Beer sales are expected to suffer after the death of this die-hard brew connoisseur. According to reports, a man from northern Michigan was found dead in his home last month, surrounded by piles of empty beer cans.

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Sean Gallup, Getty Images
Sean Gallup, Getty Images
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Michigan Lawmakers Trying to Ban Booze at Fully-Nude Strip Clubs

Prudish Michigan lawmakers are attempting to take all the fun out of watching fully nude entertainment by banning alcohol sales in clubs that host such debauchery.

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Spencer Platt, Getty Images
Spencer Platt, Getty Images
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Food Stamps Worth Double at Michigan Farmer’s Market

Food stamps are worth twice their normal store value at some Michigan farmer’s markets, according to a report in The Christian Science Monitor. It is a program called “Double Up Food Bucks,” which is an accepted practice in most of the state that gives SNAP money more spending weight when purchasing from local farmers.

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Tongue
Barcroft TV via YouTube
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Michigan Woman Might Have World’s Largest Tongue [VIDEO]

Here we go, Michigan is breaking another record. Adrianne Lewis is looking to pick up a world record for the size of her tongue. I can only imagine the jokes to follow, but let's try and control ourselves kids. It's only a matter of time until a Brazzers logo gets added to her picture anyway.

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Rapid Bus Fight
Rapid Bus Fight
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Michigan Bus Drivers Prepared to Fight Passengers Who Cannot Find Their Bus Pass

Michigan bus drivers are apparently ready to whoop some ass if a passenger does not have their bus pass ready.

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Jeff J Mitchell, Getty Images
Jeff J Mitchell, Getty Images
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Michigan Man Dressed in Panda Costume to Hold Up Convenience Store [VIDEO]

Just when you think the state of the criminal mind in Michigan can’t get any weirder, some weirdo wearing panda costume holds up a convenience store. That’s right… Michigan police say a lunatic walked into a gas station last Friday, under the guise of a friendly panda, and robbed the place while the clerk was in the crapper

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Michigan Woman Drunk Dials 911

Sweet Mary hell, when will you people learn to keep the cops out of your personal affairs. Unless there is a corpse rotting away in the upstairs apartment, there is really no situation that warrants putting a call into 911, especially when it is to make a drunken complaint about your significant other. This is a lesson one Michigan woman had to learn the hard way.

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Hillsborough County Jail
Hillsborough County Jail
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Michigan Woman Arrested for Arson After Setting Tampa Bay Lighting Flag on Fire

They said Michigan’s hockey team couldn’t hold a flame against Florida's. Well, they were sadly mistaken.

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Dmitriy Eremenkov via Thinkstock
Dmitriy Eremenkov via Thinkstock
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Michigan Police Provide Tips on How Not to Make a Getaway After a Bank Robbery [VIDEO]

Michigan police found themselves in a high-speed pursuit earlier this week following a bank robbery conducted by a couple of imbeciles who obviously did not devise a comprehensive plan for making a getaway. Video footage obtained from one of the squad cars shows officers attempting to stop two suspects wanted for holding up as many as three banks.

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Joe Raedle, Getty Images
Joe Raedle, Getty Images
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Another UFO Sighting in Michigan…or Is Someone Trying to Fool Us? [VIDEO]

Another UFO, perhaps one controlled by blood-thirty alien life forms, has been spotted in Detroit.

There is a distinct possibility that whatever is behind the wheel or joystick of the spacecraft shown in this video is searching for the most optimal spot to unleash a full-scale attack on the city…maybe even the state

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Theo Stroomer, Getty Images
Theo Stroomer, Getty Images
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Slim Majority Supports Legal Weed, It’s a Lock If Activists Earn Spot On 2016 MI Ballot

While marijuana activists are working to legalize the leaf in 2016, a recent poll indicates that only a slim majority of residents are behind establishing a taxed and regulated pot market similar to what is currently underway in Colorado.

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Getty Images
Getty Images
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Flu Strain Could Pose a Threat to Dogs Across Michigan [VIDEO]

The word on the street is Michigan canines could soon be at risk of contracting a nasty strain of influenza that has been knocking dogs’ dicks in the dirt in the upper Midwest. Recent reports indicate that well over 1,000 dogs in Illinois and Wisconsin have tested positive for dog flu, which is a disease similar to the human kind.

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