Mother's Day is this Sunday, so I thought I'd toss out a few ideas for you terrible sons and daughters that are waiting for the last minute. Feel free to mix and match these, I'm sure mom would appreciate it.

  • Flowers

    Flowers are definitely the fail safe. You can't go wrong when you walk in and hand your mother a big bouquet of flowers. Moms are suckers for flowers!

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  • Dinner at a nice restaurant

    Your mother has been cooking for your lazy ass for years. She's sick of making your favorites and doesn't want the hassle of dishes. Go all out. Take her up to Tony's in Birch Run and buy her a bunch of bacon.

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  • Tanning Membership

    Your mom is getting up there and she wants to stay youthful. Get her a nice tanning membership so her eventual move to a condo in Florida will be a smooth transition. I hear Del Boca Vista is nice!

  • Chocolate or Candy

    Unless she is a diabetic, your mom will always except candy. The bigger the variety box the better. Let her enjoy a day of guilt free candy. She will remember that you gave her the jumbo size box over the average small box when she is writing her will!

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  • Jewelry

    Depending on your age, this is one of the only gifts that is acceptable to buy last minute. If you are in your upper 30's into your 40's, just wait until the last minute. The older your mom, the more she will like the leftover broaches and overly dangly braclets at the counter.

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  • Move the F*** out of her basement

    There shouldn't be much to explain here. If you have moved from the childhood bedroom to the basement you have over-stayed your welcome. The closest thing a mother can do to kicking you out is moving your sorry ass into the basement -- take the hint!