The holiday season is hard enough when searching for gifts for people you care about. It gets even harder when you're trying to shop for people you don't like.

We have all been in this situation, whether it be a work Christmas party, a gathering of friends or the yearly family get-together, most social constructs tell us that we have to give everyone a gift. That means we are left to buy things for people that we don't even like. If you are in this situation, here are my top six gift ideas for people you can't stand. Now some of these may seem pretty simple, but in the end, they cause a lot of damage to the "relationship" and you probably won't be asked to partake in the gift exchange next year.

  1. Exercise Equipment. Nothing says, "Merry Christmas, I'm a dick and think you need to trim up a bit" better than a set of resistance bands.
  2. A pet. I'm not saying you need to need to spend a lot of money and get a pure breed with papers. Save a puppy from a shelter. They might be excited at first, but in the end, you just sentenced them to costly pet food, gnawed on furniture, and urine stains on the rug.
  3. Tschotkes. Make a habit of buying stupid little items from any gas station or truck stop you may visit throughout the year. After awhile, you will have an entire stockpile of "here is something dumb for your desk" items to give your office co-workers.
  4. Trial Memberships. I was once suckered into one of these myself. The co-worker that got me into one of those food delivery services swore by their products. Not long after that, the bill was messed up and I got locked into paying for it. It's a bit of a pain to try and get them to sign up, but totally worth it, knowing the frustration they will encounter.
  5. Fruit Cakes/Popcorn Tins. This kind of present really shows the receiver of the gift how little you care. They know that absolutely zero f***s were given.
  6. A donation in their name. This one is amazing on so many levels. Instead of explaining it, just watch the video below. George Costanza is my hero. The Human Fund - "Money For People."

We are one week away from the big day. I hope you have found this helpful. Happy Festivus everyone!