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Tree Tries to Make His Sled Not Look Like a Penis, Did He Succeed? [PHOTOS]

As you probably saw earlier this week, my sled for the Cardboard Classic Sled Race came out looking a little more phallic than I intended. After some subtle detailing, I think it looks much less dong-tastic — what do you think?

After repeated dick jokes about my sled all this week, I decided to start phase 3 of the project — titled “Operation Castration” — which is documented step-by-step in the photo gallery below.

First, I drew some wavy lines on a piece of cardboard and cut them out using my trusty box cutter (because “utility knife” is a term for fancy people). Next, I attempted to glue them on, piece by piece, around the trunk (shaft). Apparently, I picked up the wrong kind of glue, so I went back to duct tape. The idea was to make these pieces resemble the bark on the tree.

After that we attempted to move it from my basement to the garage for paint. We quickly realized that the section you would refer to as “the balls” was too big and we couldn’t fit it up the stairs. I had to punch in the side of the sled just to get it out in the garage, which was easily repairable with some more duct tape. We blasted the tree with a few coats of spray paint and that’s pretty much it.

We still have a few last minute details we plan to add but it will look pretty much like it does in the last picture below when you see it going down Mt. Holly this Saturday. There is still time to sign up (you can do that below) and we hope to see you at Tim Horton’s Cardboard Classic!

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