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Treeview: Saw 3D

Saw 3d
Courtesy of Twisted Pictures

The seventh installment in the Saw franchise may not blow your mind, but it will definitely BLOW!

Maybe that opening statement was a bit too harsh, the movie was not all terrible. In fact it was probably the best film since the third installment. Saw 3D did provide some great gross out moments and my girlfriend did a lot of jumping so i guess it delivers on that level.

 This time around old Jigsaw continues his reign of “inspirational” terror from beyond the grave by way of his followers. The movie had a better plot than the last few films and was also paced much better. Most of the film was spent tieing up loose ends left over from the previous films  (as oppose to flashbacks explaining how it’s still possible that someone is killing people).  The cast was a pleasant improvement also. They had the guy from The Boondock Saints as the “lead” character, a short visit from  Chester Bennington of Linkin Park, and {*SPOILER ALERT*} the return of Cary Elwes (The dude from The Princess Bride AKA Dr. Gordon) to the series for the first time since the original. There were also some cool 3D kills, guts flying at the screen, and a detective trying his hardest to sound like Matthew Mcconaughey.

The movie was quietly subtitled “The Final Chapter”, we all know that it wont be though. That didn’t stop Jason Voorhees from brutally killing anyone who walked their happy ass onto Camp Crystal Lake, and unfortunately it wont stop Jigsaw either.  After raking in 24.2 mil in the opening weekend you can bet your ass a sequel is on the way.  In fact they were talking about a reboot before the film even hit theaters. Why you would reboot a franchise that started 7 years ago and has had a  sequel every year is beyond me.

The problem i have with this particular Saw film is the same problem I’ve had withthe last five, which can be explained in two parts. 1) They spend so much time showing you the protagonists flaws and you end up not liking anyone in the movie. When they get killed you end up not giving a shit. Usually this would work because you would want them to die and therefore root for the kill. Unfortunately, Jigsaw and everyone who has taken up killing in his name are all GIANT douchebags. Even if I hate every character in a Friday the 13th I can still cheer for Mr. Voorhees and his machete. 2) They fail to explain how every killer in these movies has a mechanical engineering degree. Some of these traps are so complicated I don’t even understand how they work. I have a hard time believing that the dumb ass subbing for Jigsaw in this film is following a set of directions to put these traps together like they’re  a computer desk from Walmart. Also, how many fucking abandoned warehouses and mental institutions are in this city. You almost think that these  movies take place in Flint.

Final Verdict: What SAW 3D lacks in believability and plot, it almost makes up for with 3D gore and  some guilty fun. C+

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