Why Your Girl Fakes It

Thanks for being so kind! You say it's because you love us and that you don't want to "bruise" our egos -- what are you dating? A sissy? Why not come flat out and say you're not into it at the moment -- get 'off' and get off of me!

Some men, not boys, can handle the truth.

So they fake it! They want to get the dirty deed over as fast as they can so they can go back to watching some meaningless TV show, knit, do their nails or read about how to be good in bed.

If missionary isn't working, why not suggest some other position that may "excite" you -- you can tell us to 'Smack it up, flip it, rub it down, oh, no'!

Like us guys, when a girl gets drunk their 'no-no parts' get numb as well -- odds are that if she's drunk, your probably drunk as well. What this means, ladies, is neither of us will peak to pleasure -- let's just have a nasty round of drunk sex and call it good.

Girls think? Kidding! We all have stuff on our minds, isn't sex suppose to be therapeutic? I can understand a major tragedy, like a death or bad hair day -- but everyday problems won't go away.

Make your next sex sesh about relieving stress -- don't pull the "I have a headache" scam -- sex releases endorphins which are the best remedy for a headache.

Chicks are self-conscious -- then again so are most guys -- so girls feel if we are not pleasing them, we may leave them to find someone who we can please. There may be a bit of truth behind this, but if we truly care about you then tell us the problem and we can work on it.

Hell! Why not bring that other chick into the picture -- she might be able to do the job better than us, plus you'll help us fill a fantasy! Just a thought.

Ladies! You already control 90% of our lives -- you tell us what to wear, where we are going, who we can hangout with, etc. -- if you want to take control; take control!

I'm sure most guys won't bitch if you tell us what position you want, to speed up, slow down, right there, no not there ... you get what I'm saying.

Sex is a team sport played by two people; a bit of coaching never hurts.

Guys are always hungry; that never gets in the way of sex for us! Let's "bump uglies" and then we can go make a sandwich.

Enough said!

Sorry our beer guy and scruffy face don't make you feel all happy down below -- we all can't be those dudes from 'Twilight'!

As long as we don't have food stuck in our teeth and have awful B.O. -- what's the problem? You know who we are and how we are -- deal with it!