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Wisconsin Guy Humps Curbside Couch

Wisconsin Man Humps Couch

We don’t know much about Wisconsin. But the few things we do know about the land of cheeses are reasons enough for Wisconsinites to be damn pleased with their state. It’s home to Cheeseheads, lots of badgers, Miller Brewing Company, and that guy who was caught having sex with a couch. Wait, what?

Gerard Streator

Gerard Streator recently did his state proud by making headlines for public “lewd and lascivious behavior”. Translation: This horny guy came up with the genius plan to hump a couch. Don’t get us wrong– we’re all for a little experimental nookie now and then, but Streator wasn’t in the comfort of his own apartment. He was doing the deed curbside, where the couch was waiting to be thrown away. He could’ve at least had the decency to hump a nicer sofa. Does no one have self respect these days?

This whole incident happened around 11PM, so we’re assuming the love seat banger thought he could pull off a quickie (with two cushions) in the dark without being caught. But we all know that never, ever happens, and the po-po always show up from who the hell knows where. In this case, that officer was Ryan Edwards, who was taking a casual jog in the same area at the same time. Dammit cops are good.

Edwards noticed suspicious thrusting action between a guy and… no one, at which point Streator fled the scene. Police eventually caught up with him at his place of work: a hotel. That’s right, folks; the next time you check into a hotel, just think: that creepy guy in the lobby probably humped your room’s couch beforehand. Happy vacationing! Now if you’ll excuse us, we’re gonna go hump the fridge.

Next: Authorities Make Daring Rescue of Sex Doll

 

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