Women Can Now Give Themselves Instant, Remote-Controlled Orgasms
Thanks a lot, science! Now women are going to replace us with a remote control. Actually, we should rephrase that. Implying that an orgasm machine is "replacing us" implies that we're actually sexually competent lovers. Either way, this new orgasm machine will be the death of mankind as we know it.
Stuart Meloy, a surgeon at Piedmont Anesthesia and Pain Consultants in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, was placing electrodes on a female patient when he accidentally discovered the "sweet spot." The woman went into a full on orgasm and then said "You're going to have to teach my husband to do that."
That accident led Meloy to his newest idea -- a surgically implanted orgasm machine comprised of stimulating wires that connect to a signal generator, which is said to be smaller than a packet of cigarettes. The generator is implanted under the skin of one of the patient's butt cheeks. He's set to begin clinical trials with "the juicer" in Minneapolis later this year.
Since too much of a good thing could be damaging, Meloy says limits will be placed on the device to ensure proper use, but he is unsure of what to set the weekly limit to. What do you think ladies? Would you endure the never-ending sensation of sitting on a cell phone for push-button orgasms?