What piece of lingerie costs more than everything you own? The Victoria’s Secret Fantasy Treasure bra. Who will be wearing it for their annual holiday fashion show? Australia supermodel Miranda Kerr. Who wants to rob that gaudy piece of undergarment and sell it? Everyone reading this blog.

The turquoise bra has nearly “3,400 precious gems, 142 carats of white and yellow diamonds, pearls, faceted citrines and aquamarines all set in 18-carat white and yellow gold” and is impossible to wash. Don’t send it to the cleaners either. It’s not coming back in one piece, if at all.

Sure she looks great in the boulder holder but its got to be impossible to hide that thing under clothing. “Are you cold Miranda? Because all 3,400 of your nipples are hard.”

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