Most of the candidates in last nights Republican Presidential Primary Debate in Detroit looked more like a group of former 'Jackass' stars auditioning for a Borat sequel than they did potential leaders of the free world. See all the highlights lowlights here.

If you didn't watch last nights GOP debate in Detroit, here's what you missed:

Trump Guarantees What We Already Know

Believe me -- anyone with a TV already knows Trump is the biggest dick on the stage. This was within the first few minutes of the debate.

Ted Cruz Shows His Support for "Green Energy"

Get it? Because boogers are green and food gives you energy.


Grown Men Fighting Like Catty Little Bitches

There was lots of this.


Everyone Fact-Checking the Ever-Living S*** Out of Trump

Had they started doing this a few months ago -- he'd probably be somewhere talking grain pyramids with Dr. Carson or instead of on the stage.


The Crowd Hamming It Up in the Background

Despite the fact that tickets were incredibly hard to get, someone gave two to these kids who were "hitting the dab" in the background. There were people doing this s*** and waving at the camera all night. Way to go, Detroit. You're almost as embarrassing as the candidates.


Kasich Told Us About That One Time He Worked With a Black Guy

Because nothing brings in the black vote quicker than the classic "I have a black friend" bit. This isn't the dem debate, bro.

The Whitest Crowd of All-Time

How sure are we that this debate actually happened in Detroit?

Fox News via YouTube


Surprise Closing Speech By President Comacho

At the end of the debate, the POTUS with the most-est came out to show his support for the candidates.