Guy Gets Double Flawless Victory After Two Punches — Friday Night Fights
Friday Night Fights is back with a doozie! Tonight we bring you video of one guy knocking out two challengers with just two punches and the best part is you don't even have to drop $99.95 on pay-per-view to see it!
Seriously though, this is better than most of those 19-second fights your cable provider wants you to drop a bill on to see. Granted, the cinematography isn't great, but catching a fight this awesomely sloppy on video is about as rare as finding a farmer's market that sells unicorn flank steak.
Now that this bro-guy -- who we'll refer to as "Tyler" for the remainder of the article -- has video of what will likely go down in his mind as his greatest achievement, we predict a long, sad downward spiral to follow. Here's how that will likely play out in a very specific order:
- Tyler shows all his friends and acquaintances the video, introducing it like, "Yo, dawg. You see me knock deez two bitch ass mahf---az out tho?"
- Tyler begins showing the video to anyone that will so much as look at him, begins introducing himself as the "double KO kid," especially to the ladies.
- Tyler makes an appearance on 'Tosh.0,' where he, as all Cewebrity Profile guests are, is oblivious to the fact that he is being mocked mercilessly on national TV.
- Upon finally recognizing the lack of enthusiasm with which his tales of battle are met, Tyler begins trolling bars for fights, hoping to recapture some of his old magic.
- After a long string of losses, black eyes, and broken ribs, Tyler finally has his moment of clarity while trying to pick a fight in the beer line at a Five Finger Death Punch concert. He decides to turn his life around and go back to school to become a vetranarian. Ironically, a younger version of Tyler, hoping to gain his own bit of internet stardom, mercilessly beats him to death in the parking lot that night. R.I.P. Tyler.