For those of us who don't have a clue when it comes to setting up the perfect date, we brought in our resident romance experts -- Jungle Recon Trooper and Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force to teach you how to get it done this year.

Most guys -- like myself -- have no idea how to plan a romantic Valentine's date that will end successfully (and by "end successfully" we mean "get them some"). That's why we called in our friend, Jungle Recon Trooper from Action Figure Therapy, to give you the hilarious origins of the holiday and his fool-proof five point system to get you laid this Valentine's Day.

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If Jungle Recon Trooper's system isn't quite your speed, here's how Carl Brutanandilewski from Aqua Unit Patrol Squad One (aka Aqua Teen Hunger Force) sets up the perfect evening.