Flint’s ‘Turd Burglar’ Caught on Video Pooping On Floor During Robbery [VIDEO]
In comic books and movies, all the great villains have calling cards. The Joker leaves behind the playing card with which he shares a name, the Wet Bandits leave the water running after they rob a house, and so on. It's a trope you see recycled time and time again in popular culture.
Perhaps drawing inspiration from those fictional big bads, a Flint burglar is about to become infamous after security camera footage from his latest robbery showed him leaving behind his own calling card -- his poop. That's right, this degenerate not only breaks in, but he also drops a doogan right there at the scene of the crime. He went from B&E's to BM&E's. Crime stinks, people.
Punwork aside, this is reportedly not the first time the suspect in question, nicknamed the "Turd Burglar" by his victims, has broken into this Flint parts shop. According to management, the incident in the video from last Thursday (8/9/18) is not the Turd Burglar's first visit. It's happened several times in the last couple of weeks. S**t happens, am I right? Seriously, folks. I'll be here all week. Tip your waitress.
The suspect, identified in the post as "Luke" is believed to be selling the parts he steals to scrap yards on Dort Highway. Unfortunately, Flint Police seem to keep losing his scent. The business provided a few more details about the culprit on Facebook:
"Flint Michigan! So here he is. The Turd Burglar. This dude likes to break and enter, steal parts, tools, etc. But he also likes to shit on the floor We captured this on our surveillance last Thursday. His name is Luke. He’s broke into our shop multiple times and he’s scrapping our parts to another scrap yard. We have his information. It’s just a matter of time before he’s caught. Steer clear of this guy. He doesn’t wipe! And he wears bikini undies Dumb criminal also. Leaving his DNA behind "
We'll keep you posted if there are any further developments in this story, but if you see something... or smell something -- say something. Reach out to the Flint Police with any information you think might be helpful in apprehending this diarrhetic deviant.