The other night I was watching 'Back to the Future 3' with my daughter when I noticed something crucial I'd overlooked for years, which brought up a number of scenarios -- all of which were deeply troubling.

The Back to the Future trilogy is great because, well, they're just fun movies. I've been a fan of them ever since seeing the first one in the theater over 30 years ago. I still remember how cool it was to see the preview for Part 3 on the big screen before the credits rolled on Part 2. Nobody was doing stuff like that in the late 1980s. Franchises, post-credit scenes, and universe-building were all largely uncharted territory back then. 'Back to the Future' was, quite appropriately, ahead of its time in almost every way.

I always go back and forth over which one is my favorite between 1 and 2 (right now it's the original), but part 3 has always finished dead last in my book. It's not a bad movie at all, I just prefer the other installments. I mean, it's not unusual to see a great trilogy end with a lesser film -- take The Matrix, The Dark Knight, The Karate Kid, The Godfather, and Spider-Man trilogies for example.

I wonder if it was my preference for the earlier BTTF films, or just denial that blinded me to the ugly truth Part 3 revealed about the McFly family tree. Either way, I'm now fully woke and ready to blow the lid off this decades, nay, centuries old secret.

Brace yourself:

One way or another -- Marty McFly is the product of incest.

Search your feelings, you know it to be true. Now that you've let that sink in for a few brief seconds, I'll explain how this has been right in front of us the whole time.

In 'Back to the Future Part 3,' Marty travels back to 1885 to rescue Doc Brown, who was stranded there after lightning struck the DeLorean at the end of Part 2. The first people Marty encounters in 1885, aside from brief run-ins with Native Americans, the cavalry, and a bear, are the McFlys. Yes, his great great grandparents, who are Irish immigrants and the first McFlys to settle in Hill Valley.

Marty is a spitting image of his great great grandfather, Seamus McFly (who is also played by Michael J. Fox), and that makes a lot of sense. What doesn't make sense is that his great great grandmother, Maggie McFly, is a dead ringer for Marty's mother. If you're still not connecting the dots here -- McFly is Marty's father's name, not his mother's maiden name. Why would his mom look exactly like his great great grandmother on his father's side of the family tree? There are a couple of possible scenarios -- and they're all gross.


 

All McFlys are Destined to Bang the Same Chick

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Maybe all the McFly dudes are really into chicks with a very, and I do mean very, specific look. You know, that "I'm Lea Thompson" look. Hey, man. If it's good enough for Howard the Duck -- it's good enough for the McFlys. Besides, you can't outrun your density... no matter what year it is.


 

Marty's Mom and Dad are Related Somehow... Probably Siblings

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We never really meet the generation of McFly's between George and Seamus. Could they have put a daughter up for adoption, only to have their son marry her unknowingly years later? Ew.


 

Marty Banged His Mom, Then Hid Their Inbred Love Child in the Past

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Think about it. Marty came pretty close to hooking up with his mom in 1955. He ended up dodging that bullet, but maybe he had a change of heart. What if he went back in time (again) to do the unspeakable, and accidentally knocked up his own mom. Rather than explain this to anyone, they decided they would leave the baby with a family in 1855. I've got $5 that says Maggie McFly's maiden name is Klein. That would mean that Marty is his own Great Great Great Grandfather and his mom is the triple great grams. Whoa, that's heavy.


 

Marty's Mom is a Suicidal Time Traveling Sexual Predator

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Think about it. OG 1985 timeline Lorraine McFly hates her life. So when she discovers the DeLorean, she begins using it to trick Marty into having sex with younger versions of herself in hopes that it will unravel the very fabric of time, destroying with it her miserable existence. In a last ditch effort to time-bang her son into oblivion, she takes her 1955 self to 1880, and convinces her to marry her great grandfather in law in an order to seduce Marty when he shows up there years later. It's a twisted game of sexual cat mouse and mouse across multiple timelines with the fate of the universe hanging in the balance, basically. Pretty dark stuff. Don't be surprised when someone steals that and uses it for season 4 of Black Mirror.


Don't Be Mad

Listen, before you go all Mad Dog Tannen on me in the comments -- I know this is a stupid article. I noticed an unusual thing about an old movie we all love and had fun playing Info Wars with it for a while. I probably botched a few details in here too. Lighten up, would ya?

The real reason Marty's mom looks like his Great Great Grams on his dad's side is actually pretty close to the first scenario I presented. In the DVD commentary on one of the films, screenwriter and producer Bob Gale explains that the creative team considered it important to include Lea Thompson in the film, and he imagines that McFly men are simply "genetically predisposed" to be attracted to women who look like her.

Oh well. It was fun while it lasted... and gross. Mostly gross, actually.

Dont worry, there are still a lot of dark truths about BTTF that NO ONE wants to admit. Check out a gallery full of those inconvenient truths below

 

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