It's not easy making a sled out of cardboard that looks exactly like you planned. Take it from me, my tree sled ended up looking like a giant cock and balls -- take a look here.

With the Tim Horton's Cardboard Classic Sled Race just days away (Feb. 23rd), I had procrastinated for far too long and it was time I hunkered down and built my tree sled. What could be funnier than a dude named Tree going down the hill in a giant tree, right? Well, I found out the unexpected answer last night after Phase 1 of the build was complete -- a dude named Tree going down the hill in a giant penis.

You can see my initial blueprint at the top of the page, which changed on the fly due to the fact that we ran out of cardboard and it was imperative that the base all be one piece. So we skewed the proportions a bit and voila! Dick sled (as seen in the gallery below).

We would have just embraced the penis (go ahead and take a moment to laugh at "embraced the penis") sled idea, but this is an all ages event and I wouldn't feel right about that. Sure it looks bad now, but once the top (bush) is painted green and the trunk (shaft) is painted brown, I'm pretty sure it will look like a tree... or Dennis Rodman's junk.

It's not too late to get in on Tim Horton's Cardboard Classic, it goes down this Saturday, Feb 23rd and is an all ages event. You need a two-person team, $15 registration fee and a sled made of cardboard, tape, glue, wax, paint and not a damn thing else. It's going to be a blast, so sign your team up below my dick pics and we'll see you at Mt. Holly this Saturday!