Boy Dies After Masturbating 42 Times

I've always heard that masturbating is good for you.  It helps you last longer, it puts you in a better mood, and men who ejaculate at least 5 times a week have a 30% less chance of developing prostate cancer.  But, apparently, masturbating 42 times is a row is enough to kill you.

This story is coming out of Brazil and it serves as a warning to every perverted, porn-addicted, chronic masturbater in our listening audience.  Do not masturbate 42 times in a row or you're going to die.

The 16-year-old unidentified boy was known to be quite the horn-ball, by both his classmates and his mother.  She told a local newspaper that she planned on getting him treatment for chronic masturbation, but she waited too long.  Classmates claimed the boy asked them to connect via a webcam with him to both watch and masturbate along.  They also claimed the young man didn't discriminate when it came to women.  He was attracted to all kinds of women, regardless of age, race, or physical looks.

The boy started masturbating at midnight and spent the entire night touching himself, causing physical exhaustion and an overstimulated heart.  He was found in bed, dead, by his mother.

I'm not 100% sure how they estimated that he pounded out 42 times, or how you'd even get it up after doing it 3 times, but this serves as a solid reminder for every man out there, if it starts chaffing, put it down.

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