Hot Take: Cake Donuts at Michigan Apple Orchards Are Terrible

Just because they are a fall tradition doesn't make them good.

The following words may hurt someone's feelings, but it needs to be said. So buckle up buttercup, a fall favorite is about to be attacked. As the fall season is in full swing in the state, Michiganders flock to the apple orchards and cider mills to fill up on donuts and cider.

I understand that it is a fall tradition to enjoy cider and donuts at your favorite apple orchard in Michigan, but let's be honest, the donuts are overrated. Yea, I said it. Don't get me wrong, I love cider in the fall, hot or cold, it is delicious. However, the cider donuts that are served with that tasty beverage are terrible. To be clear, I'm speaking of the cake donut abominations as pictured. Some orchards do have other varieties that are good.

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The next time you decided to eat one, start a timer after the first bite. It takes forever to chew just one bite. They are just dense and turn into a thick mess when you are trying to eat them. And good luck having a conversation while eating one of those hockey pucks Jack, it's not going to happen. They are very similar to an over-cooked steak. It takes forever to gnaw through and you just end up out of breath and psyched up for a fight when you are done.

This is in no way a crack on apple orchards and cider mills. My family loves going to them each year, but the cake donuts are not the be-all-end-all of the trip. I always leave with an apple pie or two and of course some cider. The donut bricks and stay behind.

I'm sorry to have burst your bubble, but you needed to hear this. There are so many other places to get a great donut year-round, eat those instead.

Some of you may be wondering why I would waste time tearing apart a fall tradition like this. Well, mainly because I don't have the energy in my life to battle the real enemy we face as a nation...pumpkin spice.

Happy fall fellow Michiganders.