McDonald’s Stops Bogarting — Big Mac Sauce to Hit Grocery Stores Soon

Indications are strong that McDonald's may finally end their 50 year war on the American people, by allowing us to put bottles of their beloved Big Mac sauce in our own refrigerators.

Affordable access to health care might be the current political hot topic, but there is another polarizing issue that has divided us as a people for almost as long -- affordable access to Big Mac sauce. Since its 1967 inception, McDonald's mac sauce has been the spiritual equivalent to their 'Freebird.' However, the powers-that-be at the Golden Arches have kept the special sauce under lock and key, only allowing us to bask in its glory one Big Mac at a time.

Sure, you might argue that I could just buy thousand island dressing, because "it's the same thing," but if you did -- I would kindly but firmly ask you to GTFOH. I could also make a meat patty out of dumpster scraps and call it filet mignon, but I'm not going to because it's not the same thing and I'm not a garbage person.

This is America, and if I want to freebase mac sauce through a 16" Super Steak, Cheese, and Mushroom sub from Big John's while pounding beers and watching Trailer Park Boys at home in my pajamas -- that is my prerogative, and I will accept no substitutes. Thankfully, that fat, sweaty, diabetes-inducing American dream of mine is about to become a reality... one way or another.

According to McDonald's Canada, the fast food giant will set Big Mac sauce free, and allow it to be purchased by-the-bottle in Canadian grocery stores this spring. Mac sauce isn't the only guest coming to the party though, they're also unleashing their Filet-O-Fish and McChicken sauces in stores. I had no idea the McChicken had its own "special" sauce. I've been under the assumption that the McChick was topped with basic mayo this whole time, but maybe it's different in Canada. A mayo/gravy hybrid would not surprise me. Canadians, am I right?

I made contact with McDonald's public relations team, but they did not comment on whether the sauces will be available in the United States. They have to be though... right? McDonald's Canada seems optimistic about our chances in their tweets, which is a good sign. If, for some ridiculous reason, they are not available in the US -- send me your order. I'll be smuggling mac sauce across the border on the reg, and will hook you up for a small fee.