Only Capable of Rolling Eyes and Texting, Brain-Dead Teen to be Euthanized

According to The Onion, the parents of 13-year old Caitlin Teagart have decided to end her life, saying she can do nothing but lay on the couch and whine about things being "gay".  I'm sure so many parents have felt this way from time to time. I've said " Don't roll your f*#king eyes at me" about a million times in my life.