Woke Hippie Bro Selling Suckers ‘Raw Water’ at Nearly $15 a Gallon

If this is all it takes to get rich these days, you can find me selling my new product, Raw Air, in Downtown Flint.

I understand that distrust of tap water is at an all-time high, especially around here. Flint has painfully become the cautionary tale of what can happen when you neglect your water source. Unfortunately, some people are using the hysteria caused by our water crisis to fleece people out in California.

Some of the videos for Live Water, the company cashing in on this raw water craze, are so ridiculous that they could be mistaken for a "cut for time" SNL sketch, but these guys are for real... and are for real selling straight up spring water to people at $37 per 2.5-gallon bottle.

Live Water founder Mukhande Singh claims that tap water is "toilet water with birth control drugs in them." This bro is woke, you guys. He's also skeptical of the addition of flouride to water, which has become a growing concern among the general public. However, he refers to it as a "mind-control drug that has no benefit to our dental health.”

I'm all for being more conscious of what you put in your body, but this guy is scooping up spring water and selling to suckers. He talks about how our ancestors benefitted from drinking water this way, but fails to mention that our ancestors used to die of dysentery on the reg. If that's what people are looking for, maybe I should get started hosting those real-life Oregon Trail adventure tours I've joked about over the years. Maybe Live Water would be interested in being a sponsor. I mean, they are actually getting the water from Oregon.