I have long suspected that Maggie is a serial killer in real life. Well, I now have evidence to support that my friends. Over the weekend I found the tools and trademarks of serial killer in Maggie's possession!

During my detective work over the weekend, here are some of the things that make me believe, that she in fact, really does kill people.

Exhibit A: Language

It gets pretty hectic around here during the day and when she gets frustrated or annoyed with someone, she can be heard saying one word over and over, "Murder."

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Exhibit B: Handwriting

Take a look at the picture below. I snapped this picture of her "notes" while broadcasting live at Beer Cans for Boobs. You can not tell me that this doesn't look exactly the same as the journal of the troubled little boy in all the horror movies. It starts as a normal piece of paper and transformers into a cryptic cry for help with plans of murder, deception, and alcohol shakes.

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Exhibit C: Disguises

Some of you may think a simple wig is just a form of expression or glamour. Don't be naive people. What better way is there to pull off murder after murder than a disguise. So don't be tricked by that "murder mop" that sits atop her head! Be on the look out for all of her different faces!

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Exhibit D: All the right tools

As I am a scholar and a gentleman, I helped her load a few items into the trunk of her car last week. As I opened the trunk, I saw a huge red flag and pieced all my evidence together, she really is a serial killer. Inside her trunk of doom, I found the following items:

  • Numerous dolls and stuffed monkeys
  • Cleaning supplies
  • A small pocket sized bible
  • Plastic bags
  • A plastic jug filled with what appears to be water, not sure though
  • AND a very large steak knife
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As I have now exposed the truth, I may disappear my friends. For the safety of you and those you love, keep your guard up and stay safe out there!