Guy Gets Double Flawless Victory After Two Punches — Friday Night Fights

Friday Night Fights is back with a doozie! Tonight we bring you video of one guy knocking out two challengers with just two punches and the best part is you don't even have to drop $99.95 on pay-per-view to see it!

Seriously though, this is better than most of those 19-second fights your cable provider wants you to drop a bill on to see. Granted, the cinematography isn't great, but catching a fight this awesomely sloppy on video is about as rare as finding a farmer's market that sells unicorn flank steak.

Now that this bro-guy -- who we'll refer to as "Tyler" for the remainder of the article -- has video of what will likely go down in his mind as his greatest achievement, we predict a long, sad downward spiral to follow. Here's how that will likely play out in a very specific order:

1. Tyler shows all his friends and acquaintances the video, introducing it like, "Yo, dawg. You see me knock deez two bitch ass mahf---az out tho?"
2. Tyler begins showing the video to anyone that will so much as look at him, begins introducing himself as the "double KO kid," especially to the ladies.
3. Tyler makes an appearance on 'Tosh.0,' where he, as all Cewebrity Profile guests are, is oblivious to the fact that he is being mocked mercilessly on national TV.
4. Upon finally recognizing the lack of enthusiasm with which his tales of battle are met, Tyler begins trolling bars for fights, hoping to recapture some of his old magic.
5. After a long string of losses, black eyes, and broken ribs, Tyler finally has his moment of clarity while trying to pick a fight in the beer line at a Five Finger Death Punch concert. He decides to turn his life around and go back to school to become a vetranarian. Ironically, a younger version of Tyler, hoping to gain his own bit of internet stardom, mercilessly beats him to death in the parking lot that night. R.I.P. Tyler.